Hello Lovely People!
It’s October and that means that it’s my birthday! Yay me! This year I turn 33 years old. As I get older, time seems to go by so much faster but I think that maybe that’s because it just keeps getting better and better. It’s filled with more love and more people to love, more fun and way more experiences-good and bad. As I get older, I am also more aware of the important things in life and my priorities are so different at this age, than any other. Part of that is, of course, because I am now a mother of 2 girls. I want them to grow into kind, loving, strong women of this world and they need me to model that for them. Which I am trying very, very hard to do-but not always succeeding. Thankfully, there are lessons in the not succeeding part as well!
This year I wanted to write a list of things that I have learned in my 33 years and how I am
trying choosing to live my life now at this age-for myself, my daughters, my family and all the beautiful humans on this earth. Writing this list was really interesting, actually. I was forced to actually look at my life, my real feelings, how I want things to look, what my real priorities are, and how I truly see myself. It was really eye-opening and also affirming that my life is awesome and will only keep getting more awesome the older (and wiser) I get.
“It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to
live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.”
So with that, here are 33 things that I know for sure as I turn 33:
- Family is everything. Your family will be there for you no matter what stupid things you do or say. Your siblings are your first friends and your forever friends and your parents love you and really just want you to be happy. Spend time with them, connect with them, love them and let them love you. Let the petty disagreements go and simply enjoy each other.
- You always have something to give. Likely, you didn’t get to where you are today without help from someone else and it is important to give back when and however you can. Whether it be money, time or sharing your expertise, you have something that will help someone.
- What people think of you does not matter. This one, I think, comes with age for most. But really, who cares what everyone else thinks of what you are wearing or how you choose to live your life. Just do you.
- We all worry too much. In my experience, things do tend to work out how they were meant to. It may not be your original plan or how you thought things would go, but in the end, things happen just as they are supposed to. So, just stop worrying because it doesn’t change anything that happened in your past and won’t change the future-it does however remove the joy from your present moment.
- You create your own happiness. If you are not happy with yourself and what you have right now, then no amount of stuff, the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, losing weight, or more friends will bring you happiness. Learn to love yourself and your life right now in this moment and so many beautiful things will come into it.
- Kindness matters, always. We have no idea what people are going through at this time in their lives. Everyone is struggling with something and sometimes all it takes is a smile from a stranger to completely brighten one’s day.
- Health MUST be a priority. Eat clean most of the time plus a few soul fulfilling indulgences here and there, move your body, take care of your teeth and skin, breathe fresh air and keep your stress levels in check. You would much rather spend all your years actually living, than being sick, frail and in the hospital only to leave this beautiful Earth far too soon. Take care of yourself for your own sake and for the sake of those who love you dearly.
- You always have stuff to get rid of. There can always be more downsizing and de-cluttering to do. Life is so much simpler with less stuff to deal with. Imagine that?!
- Always be learning, growing and getting better. Keep reading about new topics, learn new hobbies, pick up a new sport. Even my grandpa taught himself how to knit at 86 years old!
- Surround yourself with the right people. If you hang around assholes, you will become an asshole; if you hang out with people who spend their time gossiping, you will become judgemental; if you are surrounded by positive people who lift one another up, you will also become a positive and encouraging person living a positive life. Choose wisely.
- Never feel guilty for doing things that bring you joy. Life is meant to be enjoyed, so play your music too loud, take an extra long bubble bath every day, wear polka dots, take swing dance lessons….whatever it is you love to do. Just do it and don’t feel guilty about it.
- You don’t have to stay friends with people you no longer connect with. Everyone changes as they grow and you will grow apart from certain people. Even if you were the best of friends for many years, you may end up in different places in your lives at a certain point and it’s okay to move on. You may reconnect at a later point in your lives and you may not. Just because you were friends before, doesn’t mean that you need to remain friends forever.
- Spend your money on experiences rather than stuff. Things do not bring happiness (maybe briefly yes, but not in the long term.) Studies have shown that experiences such as travel, doing fun things with people we love, and experiencing new things bring us long term happiness.
- Make yourself a priority. You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life and so do the people in your family, so make sure that you are a pleasant person to be around. Stop saying yes to people and things that stress you out, stop abusing your body and mind with crap, don’t put everyone else ahead of you. Take care of yourself so that you can be there for your kids, husband, parents, friends, employees. Imagine how different this world would be, if everyone treated themselves as a top priority.
- What others say about you is only true if you believe it’s true. Someone thinks you’re weird? Who cares? You think you’re awesome!
- Don’t let the little things bother you. And most of it is little things. When you compare your complaint of the server not bringing your milkshake quick enough, to the millions of people not being able to feed their families or have access to clean water, your complaint means absolutely nothing.
- Every relationship teaches you something. Good, bad, loving, broken-all relationship have the ability to teach us something about ourselves or our world.
- Forgiveness is powerful. Holding onto grudges and keeping that stress in your life is poison to your body. Let it go. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean that you are okay with people treating you badly and that you have to keep them in your life. It just means that you aren’t going to let what they did control you. When you can do that, you will be free.
- All feelings are valid. Even the “bad” feelings are allowed but that doesn’t mean we should live in them forever. Let yourself feel whatever you are feeling, then let it go and move on.
- You should spend time with people of all ages and all walks of life. Children show us how to see the magic in everything and how to really live in the present moment. Older people have so much wisdom and life lessons to teach us. Be open and listen to EVERYONE that you are lucky enough to converse with throughout your life.
- Pretending to be perfect is a waste of energy. It is actually true that no one is perfect, so why do we all try so hard to make people think that we are? We are all beautiful and imperfect human beings so let’s stop using all our time and energy to cover up our imperfections. Deal?
- Stop comparing yourself and your life to others. You have no idea where that person is in their life journey and chances are that they are comparing themselves to you or someone else as well.
- The number of friends means nothing. What matters is having a few of those friends that you can talk to about everything and anything and count on at anytime to laugh with you, cry with you and tell you you’re crazy.
- You have no excuse to play the victim of your life. Even if you had a terrible childhood or have been given a raw deal in life, you can still do and have everything that you want in your life. It’s up to you to change things or change your mindset so that you can live your best life.
- Life is supposed to be fun. So if something is making you miserable then figure out a way to change it.
- Learn to live in the present moment. If you are always thinking about the past or dreaming of the future, watching T.V. or consumed in your phone, your life is actually just passing you by. Practice mindfulness in your life and learn to be in this moment right now.
- You are always capable of doing things with love. Sometimes we get angry, frustrated or scared but we can still come from a place of love with everyone we come into contact with. It’s not always easy-especially with our children but, everyone is much more receptive this way and will learn quicker.
- Slow down and enjoy the little moments. The little moments make up your life so take the time to enjoy them. Sit outside and watch the sun set, put your phone down and enjoy the conversations at meal times, smell the flowers, dance with your children, read a book…..just stop being so ‘busy’ and take a moment to take in all that is around you.
- It’s okay to change your mind and the path you thought you’d take. If you aren’t happy with how things are going, then change them. It’s your life!
- Let go of the need to always be right. That’s your ego talking and it has the power to ruin your relationships and your life. Remember, that you are not in competition with anyone.
- Beauty has nothing to do with outward appearance and everything to do with your heart. The most beautiful people I know may not be conventional beautiful according to society but they are kind, compassionate, loving, unique and that is what makes them shine and sparkle.
- Develop a self-awareness practice. Yoga, meditation, journaling, prayer, gratitude-are all things to help us learn more about our true self, where our anxieties come from, and allow us to exude abundance and feel peace from within.
- Nothing lasts forever. The pain you are experiencing will end at some point, your babies will grow and go on to live their own adventures, your parents won’t live forever, you won’t be the same person as you are right now in a few years. Everything is always changing, so savour everything as it is now because you don’t know what tomorrow will bring.
I hope that you are able to take something away from this and I really appreciate you taking the time to read. This list is like a guideline and base for what kind of person I am striving to be. In no way am I perfect (nobody is!) at following these everyday but I am mindful of how I want my life to look, how I want my children to see me and that is what allows me to keep growing and becoming a better person. Each year, I am able to take new steps to be that better person and be able to let go of the things that no longer serve me, so I do look forward to the years to come (even though I can do without all the grey hairs.)
Much love to you all,